This is a hard one for me, I have been struggling with this one. Sunday morning I listened to a service on how your spirit can be oppressed. Let me tell you something, It hit me like a ton of bricks. I started to feel very heavy, my soul felt like it was in mourning. This is what my Father has been trying to tell me. I have to forgive. No other way around it, it has to be done. Revelation 21:4 God will wipe away every tear from our eyes: there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away. I have to remind myself that he has seen my tears, he counted everyone of them. He wiped them away. How do you forgive someone who hurt not only you but your child so deeply? I will never forgive the actions but i do have to forgive the person. This is the hardest thing to do. I do not want to forgive. My soul is hurting, many of you who know me well have seen it on my face. I have a dear friend who came in today and grabbed my hands and prayed with me. She could see my soul. The only way to be completely free is to turn it all over to the one who loves me more than anyone else. Who has felt a even greater pain and than i could ever imagine when he watched his only son die on the cross. So many blessings have come out of our pain, I just need to remind myself of this. God brought my daughter back to me. She is alive and here with us. We still are working through all the after effects, but she is here and I can hold her again. Survivor guilt is a real thing.
Psalm 56:12 I am under vows to you, my God: I will present my thank offerings to you. For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.
Father I am ready to put my trust in you!
"In God, whose word I praise, in the Lord, whose word I praise- in God I trust and am not afraid. What can man do to me?"
I tell everyone that when God puts you on a path and you surrender to him, it will be the hardest thing that you will ever do. His plans are so much better than anything I could ever dream. He puts the right people in your path and sometimes he removes the ones that are not. The ones who you can't deal with and remove on your own. Sometimes it is friends and sometimes it is also family.
FATHER , I AM READY!!!!!
I am ready to forgive!!!!
( Ms. Karla, I absolutely adore you, you see my soul like no one else.)